


high

by ynmnsoulmates



Series: stray kids stories <3 [8]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hallucinations, Heartache, I did this for my friend, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Open to Interpretation, Past Relationship(s), but fate likes to play, im sorry, they were meant to be together, you better love this gf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 14:45:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ynmnsoulmates/pseuds/ynmnsoulmates
Summary: hyunjin really loves chan. oh, he does.





	high

**Author's Note:**

> this is really short haha

Drink. Hickeys. Puke. Sleep. Repeat.

Hyunjin can't remember much during the drunken nights and mornings. Whenever he wakes up during the evening, he sees unwanted hickeys decorating his pale neck. All he would do was just scoff and cover them up with concealer, before dolling himself up again to hang out.

It has become an everyday routine for two months, unfortunately. He drinks and clubs until he can't walk any longer, and he would wake up on his half-empty bed with a terrible hangover. He's not bothered about it anymore though.

Hyunjin just misses Chan so bad. It's unfortunate that their relationship had to end because of disagreements from family and clash of personalities. But Hyunjin still loved the other dearly, even though the latter doesn't know. Right after the breakup, Hyunjin had immediately deleted himself off social media and blocked every single one of Chan and his friends' contacts.

He makes up for the pain through drinking, and making out with random strangers, or his friends, every single day. Without fail. He knows he's acting childish, but could you blame a lovesick fool? Chan has been forced away from him because of family, so why can't Hyunjin act like he doesn't care about his ex and himself anymore?

Although he had heard that Chan was going through as much as he is, Hyunjin will never admit that he is in a _lot_ of pain.

But on this particular night, nearing the completion of the second month of his routine, he broke down in one of the clubs' dirty toilet stalls.

Before that, Hyunjin was just downing shots of pure vodka with a couple of drinking buddies. Wearing a meshed crop top and ripped black jeans, smoky make-up not forgotten and his lips glossy and full. He looked extremely gorgeous in that fit.

He was giggling and throwing himself against his friends, already tipsy after the sixth shot. He was unexpectedly pulled into a messy, wet kiss with one of his guy friends, who was pretty attractive and it lasted quite a while before another friend pulled him onto the dance floor.

Giggling, Hyunjin instantly starts moving to the music as his friends follow along near him. He was just in his own head space, eyes closed and not bothered by anything as he lets himself free. The music slows down, and Hyunjin doesn't think much about it, when suddenly.

He gasps in shock when he feels a familiar warm hand ghost around his exposed waist. Hyunjin snaps his eyes open and looks around frantically among the sea of slow dancers, only to not recognise any faces.

His heartbeat speeds up, confused when he feels the same warmth ghosting around the nape of his neck. He turns around, eyes wide when he finds no one behind him. " _Hyunjin_ _!_ "

That voice. He knew that fucking voice. Hyunjin turns his head to the direction of the voice, only to see his friends approaching him with confused expressions. The music suddenly returns back to its normal speed, and everyone began dancing normally again.

"Hey man, you alright?"

Hyunjin could feel tears forming in his eyes, and he tries to blink them away as he frantically backs away from his friends, "Y-yeah. I, uh, I'll be back."

He runs out of the club for a breather, leaning against the wall facing the empty streets. His hands reach into his pocket for his cigarettes, when he hears it again, " _Hyunjin_ _?_ "

He stops moving, freezing as his heartbeat speeds up again. He hears footsteps heading his way, and he gulps nervously as he stares down at the dirty ground.

" _I thought you quit smoking,_ _Jinnie_ _. What happened buttercup?_ "

He whips his head to the direction of the footsteps and voice at the mention of his nickname, only to see nothing but a dark alleyway. He nervously bites down onto his bottom lip as he pushes himself off the wall, sluggishly moving to inspect the area when he hears the voice again. Now, it's coming from behind him instead.

" _Don't go inside there! You know how dangerous it can be!_ "

He looks behind him, only to slightly freak out when he sees no one again. "Chan? Channie, I can hear you. Please stop this. I-I can't bear this."

Hyunjin tears up when he hears his favorite laughter playing right beside his ear, closing his eyes in fear of crying when he feels a pair of warm lips ghosting at the junction connecting his neck and shoulder, " _But I'm always here,_ _Jinnie_ _. Don't you want me anymore?_ "

"No. No, fucking leave me! I'm done," he whispers into thin air.

" _But, buttercup. I've always been here._ " He feels fingers hooking his grown hair behind his ear, and they slowly trail down the features of his face, stopping at his full lips. " _Just like how you've always wanted._ "

Hyunjin lets out a soft sob and runs back into the club, where everything wasn't quiet. He frantically looks for the toilet, and storms inside before locking himself in one of the stalls.

He bursts out into tears as he turns around and knock his head back against the door, not bothering to cover his cries as his entire system finally succumb to the much needed breakdown. His head and heart ache, and his fingers wouldn't stop shaking as he grips at his thighs in need of support.

He slid down the door onto his butt, legs giving out under the weight of his frail body as he helplessly cries into his shaky hands. He cries as he finally absorbs his entire state, cries when he realises that he's making himself feel like a toy.

He gasps wetly when he feels a hand on his head, breathing shakily as he feels fingers running through his hair as a form of comfort, " _Why are you crying_ _Jinnie_ _? I'm here, aren't I?_ "

"N-no.. You're not here, Channie.. You're at your - _whimpers_ \- family's house.."

" _Oh baby. Beyond all borders and encumbrances, I'm always here. Here and there, just for you._ "

"I love you so much, Channie... Why did you leave me.. All alone.." Hyunjin gasps in between his sentence, tears never ending as he feels a pair of big hands gently holding his jaw.

He then feels a pair of familiar lips pressing on the crown of his head momentarily, before all of the warmth goes away.

" _I've always been here, baby. And I love you too,_ _Jinnie_ _. Always will._ "

He sobs loudly after a short moment when he realises the familiar warmth was not coming back for the night, maybe never again, as his chest gets even heavier.

He needs Chan to keep him on the track, take his head out of the gutter and save him again. He needs Chan back.

He needs his anchor, his sailor, his sun, his everything, his world back.

He cries till he's out of tears, and for the first time in two full months, Hyunjin goes home and went to bed early.

He starts his routine again the next night, as if nothing happened. And every single day, he dreams of being with Chan.

Hyunjin hopes Chan was dreaming the same thing, so they can be together all the time.

As expected, Hyunjin eventually lands himself in the mental institute, when he starts seeing Chan everywhere. He doesn't hear from anyone for a while, and he starts losing his mind.

And if he did stop breathing, no one from outside knew. Even Chan himself, who had been looking all over for him.

**Author's Note:**

> i love angst <3


End file.
